A worry that is often unfounded
"I don't want to be a burden on my children." Counsellors at care support centres hear this sentence often. Some older people put off moving into a home or applying for care assistance for exactly this reason. Since 1 January 2020, however, this worry has been unfounded for the vast majority of families: the Relatives Relief Act (Angehörigen-Entlastungsgesetz) introduced a high income threshold.
The €100,000 limit
Under § 94 (1a) SGB XII, maintenance claims against children and parents are not taken into account for social assistance unless their annual total income exceeds €100,000 in each case. The social welfare office can therefore only recover the costs of care assistance from children whose income exceeds this limit.
The limit applies to each child individually. If a mother has three children and only one earns more than €100,000, only that child can be called upon. The other two are not affected.
What counts as income
What matters is total income within the meaning of § 16 SGB IV. This is the sum of income in the tax sense — not simply the gross salary. For employees, for example, work-related expenses are deducted from gross pay. Other income is added, for instance from letting or investments.
Important: the income of children-in-law does not count. If a child's spouse earns very well but the child themselves does not earn more than €100,000, there is no maintenance obligation.
The statutory presumption
The law initially presumes that the children's income does not exceed the limit. Children therefore do not automatically have to disclose their income. The social welfare office can only ask the person in need of care for information that allows conclusions about the children's income — for example about their profession. Only if there are sufficient indications that the limit is exceeded may the office make enquiries with the children.
The limit does not apply to spouses
The €100,000 limit only concerns parents and children. Spouses and registered partners continue to owe each other maintenance, and their income and assets are generally taken into account for care assistance. The partner living at home must be left with an appropriate amount for their own living costs. Married couples in particular should therefore seek advice early.
When children do have to pay
If a child's income is above the limit, maintenance is calculated according to family law rules. The child is then entitled to a generous personal allowance, and their own obligations, for example towards their own children, are taken into account. Our child support calculator shows how maintenance calculations work in principle. In individual cases, advice from a specialist family lawyer is advisable.
Voluntary support
Regardless of any obligation, many children support their parents voluntarily, for example with additional services or personal expenses. Anyone wishing to do so should first consider that regular payments to the parents count as their income and can reduce care assistance. Advice helps here too.
Conclusion
Most children do not have to pay anything towards their parents' nursing home costs. That should not stop anyone from applying for care assistance in good time if pension and savings are not enough. Calculate how large the gap is in your case with the nursing home cost calculator.